A Weight in My Heart: Life As An Empath (Part II)

I have one of the best careers in the world. Currently, I am unemployed, but since my early teen years I have been working alongside horses. I even went to college and studied being a stablehand as a professional career. I’m the girl who’s shovelled buckets of manure, groomed countless of warm equine bodies, tacked and untacked, fed, and watered.

Personally, from my experience and point of view, it takes a certain kind of person to work with animals. You have to have a passion – that’s evident. It can not only be grimy and gross, but incredibly dangerous, especially with horses.

They’re anywhere from 200-600 kg, with their own brains, and powerful legs. Flight instinct animals react first, think later –  it’s very difficult to calm them down when something has spooked them to the point of rearing or bolting. Any horse person will tell you we risk our lives being in the vicinity of them. We have to stay completely aware, reading their signals; if we miss those ears go back, we can end up kicked.

Yet with all of these risks I take, I wouldn’t change anything about working with horses. They’re amazing creatures, intelligent and deep. Funny, oh yes, and you never know if they’re being smart or dumb (I spent a good half-hour laughing at an ex-racehorse avoiding being caught, because he enjoyed running around the racecourse.)

Will I say my Empath traits are strong with horses? Most definitely. I began work as a stablehand at the Riding for the Disabled, a charity providing hippotherapy (therapy with horses) for riders of physical or intellectual disabilities. Another part to my Empath series will focus specifically on one little strawberry-blonde girl that stole my heart.

Animals (and children) communicate on levels us adult humans don’t. A horse relies more on body language, than even vocalising. We all know the signs of an angry, irritated horse – ears back, stiffened neck, pawing the ground, steely gaze, hind leg striking out as a warning. How do we know when a horse is happy? Sad? Hungry? Anxious? Aroused, even?

Atheistic, non-spiritual horse people will always say, it simply comes down to body language. Working with horses, I can say that’s only half the equation. I received glowing reports from my boss as an intern, saying I had a calming aura around them. I had some of their most hot-headed racehorses in my care. Pacing, breathing hard in pent-up excitement (“I WANNA GO! I WANNA RUN! NOW!”), inability to calm themselves down. That’s where I came in.

As an intern, work experience was incredibly basic. Mucking out. Cleaning out. Feeding out. Equipment cleaning. Rugging. Leading horses. Hosing down. General stablehand jobs, without riding them (I’m not qualified for riding racehorses.) While their trackriders saddled up and headed out on the track, it was my job to keep them steady, without anxiety.

Empaths don’t even have to switch themselves on or off. When our heart is open enough, we shine. I feel their breath… Slowly, stroking my hand over their flesh, noticing the quivering muscles. I hush them, soothing, a positive yet lulling voice. I feel their soul within their eyes (remember – direct eye contact can be considered a threat in horse language. Soften your gaze. Show a calm, helpful, soothing, non-threatening soul through body language and energy.) I become Calm Energy, and I send out Calm Energy.

I have lulled RDA horses into a peaceful doze simply by touch and connection. I don’t just read horses, I want to connect with them. Connecting means feeling them, beyond a touch or an aid of the rein. Some of the greatest horse people in the world, my latest favourite being Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling, go beyond the physical and into the horse’s soul. A man I sat under a workshop once, Franklin Levinson, had a lovely conversation with me, sharing the same principles. He had our beloved old boy (RIP) follow a stranger without any equipment, simply in a matter of two minutes.

I can go on and on about how sensing, feeling and energy enhances my ability to work with animals. I have five years of experience to share, and not enough space. Do I miss my work? Absolutely. Only personal circumstances are why I can’t do it right now. At least I know one thing: when you’ve found your calling, never stop dreaming big.

~

Part I

Action and Reaction

A few nights ago, I was watching one of my favourite comedy-dramas, Patch Adams. Amongst all the fun and deep messages about bringing light into the lives of others, a theory within the script rang out to me. Simple enough, explained in those scientific algorithm-y words, with an important message.

Patch began to theorise with his fellow student that, in layman’s terms, if you create a positive influence in someone else’s life (such as a hello, a smile, or a funny act of kindness), you could brighten someone’s day. You could receive the same positivity back.

In truth, the theory rings true for such others such as the Law of Attraction. When the Law was on everyone’s lips years ago, it was mainly talked about by people wishing to seek a quick-fix to their financial troubles. If I constantly think and wish for this Lamborghini with a positive heart, I will get the Lamborghini. There’s far more to it than the Lite version of the media.

Power of Three. Whatever you do comes back to you, three-fold. Law of Attraction. Like attracts like; positivity attracts positivity, negativity attracts negativity. Vibrations of one’s energy field. We send out vibrations that can influence other’s thoughts, emotions, and energy. Whatever name you want to call it, the principle is the same throughout each term. What we do can affect not only our life, but everything around us.

Do you know, that just a simple thought of goodness, can make a world of difference? I’m Miss Negative, half the time. Glass half empty, explicit words inserted here telling you to go away. Having to re-train my head, when it’s been so focused on pessimism, has been one of the most difficult things I’ve attempted.

I don’t believe I was born a pessimist, like certain people will like to tell me. I don’t even believe people are sociopaths. My pessimism is the reaction to actions over the cause of my l ife. I automatically expect negativity, because I’ve grown up with enough around it.

As I’ve grown older and experienced more with life, rather than wallowing in my own self pity, I’ve realised the true power of acting (thinking) with positivity. Case in point, a dream of mine was recently met to live interact with a celebrity I love. My actions is what got me that chance, not just the fact I was a lucky person – one of eight.

My change in behaviour; removing the negative forces of addiction that bound me, thinking I WILL instead of I might… I sent out a message and the Universe listened. It gave me a reward because I had done the right thing, for once. The Law of Attraction, the positive reaction to your positive actions, are simply a spiritual and psychological form of rewarding your good behaviour. Likewise, the negative reaction to your negative actions, are the punishment.

Test out the theory. For a whole week, non-stop (even if it absolutely kills you), try to follow the example of Patch in the movie. Instead of ignoring the people you pass, smile and say hi. That random act of kindness will more often than not, insight the reward – the smile and happy response. Every negative word said against you, don’t retaliate. Smile, laugh, and see them as the arsonists to your nature. Rain on their damage by being happy.

The results won’t always be tangible. If your going to test it, don’t have a Lamborghini, or money, or sex in your sights. Do this because you want not only to make your life a happier place, or yourself a happier person, but the world around you too.

While self-help books sold for millions on Oprah promise finance, I promise you positivity. Positivity will attract positivity. Amongst that, yes, your dreams can come true. In truth, are our wants more important than our needs – a healthy and happy life? Was meeting that celebrity worth more than the fact I feel generally more cheerful now?

I’d like to think for every person I say hi to on my beach walks… I play with their dog, have a chat with the owner, smile… I’ve added a ray of sunshine to their life. In turn, they’ve added one in mine. That’s worth more than any green note.

~

A Weight in My Heart: Life As An Empath (Part I)

I decided to turn this into a series of blog posts, considering there’s so much material I can cover. My Empath series will cover not only information about my personal journey, but references to written work by other people I find beneficial (credited when applicable.)

An Empath. I never released I was one as a child, but then again, who understands their own mind until they learn the terminology and explanations for it? After a woman on my Facebook introduced me to the concept of Indigo Children, reading my soul in such depth I was left breathless, I began doing a lot of research into things. I can’t help myself – I love reading, learning, dissecting and analysing. Through this, I discovered what an Empath was, and pieces of myself began to ring true.

The textbook definition of an Empath is someone who can feel what other’s feel. This is accomplished, in most cases, by ‘absorbing’ someone else’s emotions and experiencing them inside yourself. When the person you are near is sad, you feel the sadness too.

I can ramble on about stuff you probably know, and if you don’t, I will provide beneficial links below on information that helped me understand myself better. What this will be is about how I’ve experienced my Empath abilities, and important lessons I’ve learned.

Growing up in a dysfunctional childhood far greater than I can pen in this post, I had to grow up fast. My Mum was dealing with a lot on her plate; I never had to raise myself, no, she was always there for me as a parent should be. Except I, as a mere child, had to be a comfort and support to her. Through this, being an Empath is most strongest around her. When she’s in a bad mood, even if it’s not directed at me, I become a sourpuss. When she’s feeling okay, I can tell. I can finish off her sentences, know what she’s about to say before she even says it, and indeed – sense her emotions. Whatever I can do, in the vicinity of her, it’s at its strongest.

Most recently, it was a visit to the animal shelter. We were giving donations of food and fabrics; they were in need of bedding. The minute I stepped into the building, I could feel it. I can’t truly describe what the experience was like. Have you ever stood in the ocean, about thigh deep? You can feel the ebb and flow of the waves against your body. Back… And forth… Back… And forth… It pushes against you, it pulls you with it. You can remain standing, but the motion is there.

Animals have emotions, and I will defy anyone who tries to refute this. There was sadness in the air. Anxiety. Fear. Some animals I walked past, especially this one cat, felt so bruised I nearly broke down in tears. I’ll never know what that cat experienced, and frankly, I don’t want to. It hurt me to the deepest of my core, especially seeing it huddled in the back of the cage.

The dogs were a mixture. Some were completely oblivious to their surroundings and had this weird sense of excitement at just seeing a human. It was as if I tossed them an imaginary ball, and they had to go catch it. You could visually see that energy, bouncing up and down, barking ecstatically. It was amusing, if I say so myself.

In the carpark, I made an inner remark to myself. “Why… Peace?” I was bewildered. All this crazy, mixed up emotion had left me physically exhausted (it was also a very humid day, gross.) This was something I only felt when cemetery walking, which I love to do from time to time. It felt like souls who had moved on to the next life. A goodbye of happy memories attached to the remains that were laid to rest. “I’m gone, but I’ll always be here in your heart, my loved one.”

Something out the corner of my eye piqued my interest. A pretty arbour leading into a garden, decorated by stones and plaques. I read one of the inscriptions closest to our car. It was a memorial cemetery for pets, most from shelter volunteers, who were laid to rest.

I was so emotionally moved walking through the gardens with my Mum, reading the plaques and feeling this peace, I nearly ended up crying again. I wasn’t only touched on the Empath level, I thought this was a beautiful idea as a way of giving proper rest to a member of the family.

I spent the rest of the day, wondering about this, feeling the surrealism of this. It had been a long time since my Empath abilities had kickstarted so potently – for awhile, I just soaked up only negativity. My own emotional problems combined with those around me, and I became a very horrible person because of this. It’s something I’ve had to work on… More in another post.

When we’re young, especially trying to balance our lives between who we are and what society wants us to be (don’t lie, young ones, we all go through peer pressure and feeling like we must follow the herd), we forget the most important thing. Caring for our health – mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. As Empaths, we not only deal with our own problems, but everyone else’s. The two can intermingle so easily, if we’re not careful. Gaining the upper hand and control over it means peeling back the layers of our own emotional skin.
Part 2 in the future!

~

Empath information worthy of reading:
Mama Indigo’s Empath 101
The Mind Unleashed’s 30 Empath Traits
Bella Spark’s Living With An Empathic