A Head Full of Fairies

There’s not a day that goes past where I’m not analysing something. I love meta – I can spend hours reading about the traits of a Ravenclaw… That leads me onto the traits of a Slytherin… Which leads me onto the traits of a Slytherclaw… Eventually I’ve used up several hours reading nothing but the inner workings of Harry Potter.

I believe everything in life can be analysed, and that analysis further analysed. I’m that kind of person to pour over the minute details, for no reason other than she loves reading, researching, studying, analysing, and learning. I guess that’s why, by JK Rowling’s standards, despite my ambition and strive for success, I land in Ravenclaw 98% of the time.

So it comes as no surprise I analyse myself on a daily basis. I’m continuously learning how to read my aura, thanks to a few friends who are teaching me about sensing the colours of a person’s energy. After being told countlessly I’m a Lavender-Indigo, you know what came next – I had to read everything about Lavender-Indigo people. Fits me to a complete T.

My Western zodiac is Capricorn, Chinese zodiac is Wood Pig. Combined, I’m a ‘spider’, according to a Primal Astrology website. Considering I adore astrology and have since a young girl, that was another venture of mine.

My latest quest was actually more of a psychological type than anything spiritual. I had heard about MBTI personalities awhile ago, and was curious as to who Myer-Briggs considers I am. After countless of tests, re-tests, re-re-tests, and re-re-re-ing those tests, there’s one conclusion. I’m a INFP with a highly developed Te, which is my objective logic that transcends emotional values (I would get INTP in a lot of other results.) That means I’m an idealist with a heavy spot of realist, and I’m not afraid to speak my mind if there’s logic behind it.

After that, I found something called the Enneagram test, which a lot of other psych-centric people take too. Results were in. Type 4 Individualist on the sexual variant (meaning I require intimacy and contact from other people, very true.)

Generally, the profile for the INFP can heavily match up to the spiritualist’s Lavender-Indigo. I have a spacey head, filled with imaginations, dreams, fantasies, other realms… A suitable career for such a person is said to be a ‘writer’. Perfect, considering I am one!

Creative, outspoken, intuitive, and passionate. Do not like rules and structure, instead goes with the flow of a flexible and adaptable life. Highly forgetful. Emotional. Childlike nature, curious, intuitive. When you read the profile of an INFP, and then a Lavender-Indigo, it’s exact – just a few more spiritual terms thrown in.

Then another interesting point. Lavender-Indigos are said to use their Third Eye Chakra the most, out of all chakras. They’re often not grounded people – their root and sacral chakras are most neglected, due to their head being in the clouds so much. Most love the amethyst crystal, they find a deep connection with it and the benefits it gives. All can be said for me.

Some people ask me, what’s the point? Why do I read so much into things, analyse things that frankly, don’t matter? It matters to me. I find enjoyment learning not only more about myself, but more about my interests, and the world around me. My head absorbs information and retains it in stereotypical nerd fashion.

They may be pointless tests and results in the end, but the more my head starts to delve between the lines, the more I understand about myself. I’ve had a really whacky sense of who I am growing up, never truly getting the complexity of my mind, my emotions, and how they all work together.

The results I get, all combined together, prove how complex of a person I am. I’m the weird one. The spacey one. The nerdy one. The one who is Luna Lovegood incarnate, except unlike her (as Luna is most often described as an INTP), I rely more on my emotional value for judgement than cold, hard facts. Turns out, she’s the #1 fictional character I share the most in common with, which is why she’s my favourite from the Harry Potter novels.

It’s no crime to learn more about yourself, however you choose to do it. For me, it’s analysing meta data. I’m part of the Harry Potter generation, my House identity is a defining part of my character, beyond psychology and spirituality. I take pride in calling myself “Ravenclaw by house, Slytherclaw by heart” – if you’re familiar with the novels, you’d then understand what kind of a person I am.

I’m gaining knowledge on how I work this way. I’m an INFP type 4 (on the sexual variant), with a highly developed Te function, a Lavender-Indigo aura, and a highly functioning Third Eye chakra (my dominant chakra.) They all combine. They all fit. All these bits and pieces of information I gather describe me, who I am, and how I conduct myself.

There’s no greater gift than not just understanding the world, but understanding yourself. When you understand you (in whatever manner works for you), your greatest strengths will begin to shine.

~

INFP personality by 16Personalities
Enneagram Type 4 – The Individualist by Enneagram Institute
Lavender Indigo Auras by WhatsMyAura
Being a Slytherclaw by IntellectualHardcore

A Weight in My Heart: Life As An Empath (Part I)

I decided to turn this into a series of blog posts, considering there’s so much material I can cover. My Empath series will cover not only information about my personal journey, but references to written work by other people I find beneficial (credited when applicable.)

An Empath. I never released I was one as a child, but then again, who understands their own mind until they learn the terminology and explanations for it? After a woman on my Facebook introduced me to the concept of Indigo Children, reading my soul in such depth I was left breathless, I began doing a lot of research into things. I can’t help myself – I love reading, learning, dissecting and analysing. Through this, I discovered what an Empath was, and pieces of myself began to ring true.

The textbook definition of an Empath is someone who can feel what other’s feel. This is accomplished, in most cases, by ‘absorbing’ someone else’s emotions and experiencing them inside yourself. When the person you are near is sad, you feel the sadness too.

I can ramble on about stuff you probably know, and if you don’t, I will provide beneficial links below on information that helped me understand myself better. What this will be is about how I’ve experienced my Empath abilities, and important lessons I’ve learned.

Growing up in a dysfunctional childhood far greater than I can pen in this post, I had to grow up fast. My Mum was dealing with a lot on her plate; I never had to raise myself, no, she was always there for me as a parent should be. Except I, as a mere child, had to be a comfort and support to her. Through this, being an Empath is most strongest around her. When she’s in a bad mood, even if it’s not directed at me, I become a sourpuss. When she’s feeling okay, I can tell. I can finish off her sentences, know what she’s about to say before she even says it, and indeed – sense her emotions. Whatever I can do, in the vicinity of her, it’s at its strongest.

Most recently, it was a visit to the animal shelter. We were giving donations of food and fabrics; they were in need of bedding. The minute I stepped into the building, I could feel it. I can’t truly describe what the experience was like. Have you ever stood in the ocean, about thigh deep? You can feel the ebb and flow of the waves against your body. Back… And forth… Back… And forth… It pushes against you, it pulls you with it. You can remain standing, but the motion is there.

Animals have emotions, and I will defy anyone who tries to refute this. There was sadness in the air. Anxiety. Fear. Some animals I walked past, especially this one cat, felt so bruised I nearly broke down in tears. I’ll never know what that cat experienced, and frankly, I don’t want to. It hurt me to the deepest of my core, especially seeing it huddled in the back of the cage.

The dogs were a mixture. Some were completely oblivious to their surroundings and had this weird sense of excitement at just seeing a human. It was as if I tossed them an imaginary ball, and they had to go catch it. You could visually see that energy, bouncing up and down, barking ecstatically. It was amusing, if I say so myself.

In the carpark, I made an inner remark to myself. “Why… Peace?” I was bewildered. All this crazy, mixed up emotion had left me physically exhausted (it was also a very humid day, gross.) This was something I only felt when cemetery walking, which I love to do from time to time. It felt like souls who had moved on to the next life. A goodbye of happy memories attached to the remains that were laid to rest. “I’m gone, but I’ll always be here in your heart, my loved one.”

Something out the corner of my eye piqued my interest. A pretty arbour leading into a garden, decorated by stones and plaques. I read one of the inscriptions closest to our car. It was a memorial cemetery for pets, most from shelter volunteers, who were laid to rest.

I was so emotionally moved walking through the gardens with my Mum, reading the plaques and feeling this peace, I nearly ended up crying again. I wasn’t only touched on the Empath level, I thought this was a beautiful idea as a way of giving proper rest to a member of the family.

I spent the rest of the day, wondering about this, feeling the surrealism of this. It had been a long time since my Empath abilities had kickstarted so potently – for awhile, I just soaked up only negativity. My own emotional problems combined with those around me, and I became a very horrible person because of this. It’s something I’ve had to work on… More in another post.

When we’re young, especially trying to balance our lives between who we are and what society wants us to be (don’t lie, young ones, we all go through peer pressure and feeling like we must follow the herd), we forget the most important thing. Caring for our health – mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. As Empaths, we not only deal with our own problems, but everyone else’s. The two can intermingle so easily, if we’re not careful. Gaining the upper hand and control over it means peeling back the layers of our own emotional skin.
Part 2 in the future!

~

Empath information worthy of reading:
Mama Indigo’s Empath 101
The Mind Unleashed’s 30 Empath Traits
Bella Spark’s Living With An Empathic

The Awakening

We’re all different. Sounds very clichè, I know, but it’s true. Humanity – and the eco-system itself – comes in many sizes, shapes, and flavours. Personalities are like the beautiful snowflakes that fall from the sky, or the stripes on a zebra’s body. They can be similar, but no two people are the same.

Imagine Earth as one big bedroom, with two types of furniture for every person within it. Every soul has a bed, and a writing desk. Some people are still sleeping: lost in a world of dreams, eyes closed to the reality of their full potential. They’re not living a lie… Neither are they any different from the others in this bedroom. They’re simply unaware of their current surroundings.

Then there are the souls who are at their writing desks. They’re awake, alive, vibrant and willing to take on the world. A flood of energy flows through their fingertips as they utilise every tool available to them. ‘How can I do this? Oh! By simply doing that!’ They’re not only awake and having fun, said souls feel such a great need to wake up the ones still in their bed. Writing desk people know the potential not only they have, but everyone else in the world, and it’s their calling to help fill writing desks and empty those beds.

Those writing desk people are the Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children.

Now for a bit of my own story. The one problem with being a young Indigo Child, especially a “Millennial”? It’s taken me so long to even get to a stage I can feel a little bit grounded. Growing up, my life and head were all over the place. Still are! I’m part of the Tech Generation – Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Tumblr, Instagram, Apple products, fandoms, phones, selfies… The list goes on. Being part of the Tech Gen is the biggest distraction, because frankly, we have so much that’s accessible.

When you think of people in the former generations, they all had something new and amazing that enthralled and stole their senses. Not long ago, colour TV was a major thing. Before that, TV itself. Radio. Phones. Electricity. We’ve had so long on this Earth, so many generations have passed, and the ones growing up now (children, teenagers, and young adults) are living in a world never seen by former generations.

The Tech Gen has the world as the icing on our ‘growing up’ cake. We go through the usual stages of childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood, as everyone else before us did. Think of our parents – are they Indigo Children too? We’re experiencing Indigo growth no different than they did, we just have (as mentioned above) an insanely fast-paced world surrounding us.

So this is why I began this blog. A dear friend of mine, Mama Indigo of the “Indigo Child’s Survival Guide”, has helped guide me through the tumultous journey of growing up. I lost my way and that little flame inside me got dimmed for a bit. I stood up from my writing desk and fell back asleep.
It’s so easy to do that, and I want to help all other young Indigo, Rainbow and Crystal Children out there.
They say the first major influx of Indigo souls were our parents. Think of the hippies in the 60s, destroying old and traditional theology for a new way of life, a new consciousness. They began pulling down the walls for the next influx of souls = us. As each decade passes, the consciousness grows stronger, and now it’s time to build the bridges. Not walls – bridges. Filling in the gaps to help unite and pull people together, instead of separating everyone.

We can’t lose our vision. We can’t leave our writing desks.
We can help change the world into our Wonderland.

~